1. |
field day
02:10
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Field day
Yeah it’s got me feeling smaller when I think back to that summer
Back when I felt so much smarter
Cause I thought I didn’t have to worry about ending up alone
I’m stuck here thinking about what i may have left unclear
im so tired of losing the things that i come to rely upon even though they’re bad for me
But then why am I not okay
Why doesn’t any of my happiness come from inside of me
Field day
Yeah it’s got me feeling smaller
Like when I think back to that summer
Back when I felt so much smarter
Cause I thought I didn’t have worry about ending up alone
After all who’d worry if they had you
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2. |
veins
03:49
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Take me out of this house
Cause I don’t wanna have anything I have to think about
My emotions get tied up cause I think about you every night
My fragile veins that hold my blood are bound to tear if I don’t find some peace of mind
I’m losing touch with everyone including you
I look for signs that I might be getting more confident or qualified
But I cannot seem to find a way to fix all of my depressive thoughts
I should go outside
But my brain tells me I’m gonna die
If the water is fine, how come it’s freezing my insides
Last year my hair was always changing up
And still don’t know how to work it all out
I wish that I could pinpoint every time that I fuck up when I try to make things work
I fucking hate myself cause I’m never enough
I’m sick of waiting for something to happen
Why can’t I be cool
Or at least somewhat happy
But I’ll try again cause behind your reassuring words is such a comfortable place to hide
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3. |
cuffed jeans
03:41
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It’s hard to get anything said
When everyone’s fucking with your head
This cold it goes right through my coat
I hope it’ll make you lose all your warmth
But i’ll still kick back
Till the fire’s dead at last
I guess I must just be such a massive wreck
Cause things always get fucked up in the end
Life’s hard enough as it is when you’re not losing any of your friends
But now my head is hurting and im forgetting everything we did before you left
Im trying hard not to be piece of shit
Yeah I’m pissed but not cuz of what you did
Maybe I’ve just got some fucking bad luck
But it still feels like I’m not enough
It’s hard to wake up when you know in 7 months you’ll have blocked out the time you’re living in right now
Cause im too damn sad now to wanna remember this a year from now
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4. |
toast
03:55
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I can’t tell if my town is shrinking
It Feels like I can never find anyone interesting
I recognize everyone’s faces and they’re all so boring
Was there a flaw in your judgement
A reason you didn’t have the foresight
To realize that I would get bored.
Waiting around to stop being ignored.
I’m sorry that I disrupted you
I’m sorry that I was around
Otherwise i wouldn’t be here writing this song
I’m sorry that I ever loved you at all
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5. |
public school
03:46
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I said that I think I’m useless again
I feel that I’m growing up too fast
But I still wanna grow old with someone at last
I just want it to be the fall again
This temperature makes me feel miserable at best
I feel bored and fucking worthless
At least something is somewhat consistent
I screwed everything up like back then
My life feels unbearably stagnant
If I could only make some sense out of this
I wouldn’t have to pretend that I’m not such a pessimist
I just wanna detach these places from things that i would rather die than remember when I look at them
My world is lacking places that haven’t been fucked up from things that have happened to me
I’m just waiting for this feeling of hopelessness to pass me up
Cause these few past weeks i haven’t gotten any rest
If you think I’m still waiting for you to say something back
You’re probably right and it’s just a matter of time before I’ll be a wreck
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6. |
house shows
03:46
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Ive felt uncertainty in my head for two months longer than i thought i had did
Yeah my head’s definitely on all wrong cause i feel more anxious when i actually have someone
This month will come and go by
With me feeling shitty the whole time
I feel lonely most nights
Maybe being miserable’s alright
I miss hanging out after dark but i just don’t know what we’d have to talk about
And i don’t wanna use you to cope like i did back when i was stumbling alone in the dark
We could’ve said goodbye
Before we stopped talking all of the time
But honestly it’s alright
Cause I’ve already got shit on my mind
Can you please get the fuck out
Of my head so i can start over
And now my throat is too sore
From singing these songs that I wish you could have heard
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7. |
mango juul pod
04:23
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my heart won’t let go of when we stepped out in the cold when you swallowed all my words and then you said this wouldn’t work
You’re like a migraine that doesn’t leave
And what’s written on your sleeve is the truth you had to leave cause you were always late for me
I was happiest with you around
But now you’re your gone
And Im scared
I was happiest in your arms
But now you’re gone and im cold
Leave me at the front door once the party’s over
don’t even look me over, cause I’ll be like this until October
There’s a leaf stuck in your hair it reminds of when I’m caught in despair
And what you said over there well it couldn’t make me care
I used to wish that I could be closer to you
But now I wanna be as far away from you as possible
I thought that you were the one
I thought that you were the long run
But I was too naive to understand you at all
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Cinnamon Cigarettes Batavia, Illinois
twinkle-screamo from batavia, il.
rhys (she/they) jett (he/him) jessica (she/they)
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