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i'm o​.​k.

by Cinnamon Cigarettes

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1.
field day 02:10
Field day Yeah it’s got me feeling smaller when I think back to that summer Back when I felt so much smarter Cause I thought I didn’t have to worry about ending up alone I’m stuck here thinking about what i may have left unclear im so tired of losing the things that i come to rely upon even though they’re bad for me But then why am I not okay Why doesn’t any of my happiness come from inside of me Field day Yeah it’s got me feeling smaller Like when I think back to that summer Back when I felt so much smarter Cause I thought I didn’t have worry about ending up alone After all who’d worry if they had you
2.
veins 03:49
Take me out of this house Cause I don’t wanna have anything I have to think about My emotions get tied up cause I think about you every night My fragile veins that hold my blood are bound to tear if I don’t find some peace of mind I’m losing touch with everyone including you I look for signs that I might be getting more confident or qualified But I cannot seem to find a way to fix all of my depressive thoughts I should go outside But my brain tells me I’m gonna die If the water is fine, how come it’s freezing my insides Last year my hair was always changing up And still don’t know how to work it all out I wish that I could pinpoint every time that I fuck up when I try to make things work I fucking hate myself cause I’m never enough I’m sick of waiting for something to happen Why can’t I be cool Or at least somewhat happy But I’ll try again cause behind your reassuring words is such a comfortable place to hide
3.
cuffed jeans 03:41
It’s hard to get anything said When everyone’s fucking with your head This cold it goes right through my coat I hope it’ll make you lose all your warmth But i’ll still kick back Till the fire’s dead at last I guess I must just be such a massive wreck Cause things always get fucked up in the end Life’s hard enough as it is when you’re not losing any of your friends But now my head is hurting and im forgetting everything we did before you left Im trying hard not to be piece of shit Yeah I’m pissed but not cuz of what you did Maybe I’ve just got some fucking bad luck But it still feels like I’m not enough It’s hard to wake up when you know in 7 months you’ll have blocked out the time you’re living in right now Cause im too damn sad now to wanna remember this a year from now
4.
toast 03:55
I can’t tell if my town is shrinking It Feels like I can never find anyone interesting I recognize everyone’s faces and they’re all so boring Was there a flaw in your judgement A reason you didn’t have the foresight To realize that I would get bored. Waiting around to stop being ignored. I’m sorry that I disrupted you I’m sorry that I was around Otherwise i wouldn’t be here writing this song I’m sorry that I ever loved you at all
5.
I said that I think I’m useless again I feel that I’m growing up too fast But I still wanna grow old with someone at last I just want it to be the fall again This temperature makes me feel miserable at best I feel bored and fucking worthless At least something is somewhat consistent I screwed everything up like back then My life feels unbearably stagnant If I could only make some sense out of this I wouldn’t have to pretend that I’m not such a pessimist I just wanna detach these places from things that i would rather die than remember when I look at them My world is lacking places that haven’t been fucked up from things that have happened to me I’m just waiting for this feeling of hopelessness to pass me up Cause these few past weeks i haven’t gotten any rest If you think I’m still waiting for you to say something back You’re probably right and it’s just a matter of time before I’ll be a wreck
6.
house shows 03:46
Ive felt uncertainty in my head for two months longer than i thought i had did Yeah my head’s definitely on all wrong cause i feel more anxious when i actually have someone This month will come and go by With me feeling shitty the whole time I feel lonely most nights Maybe being miserable’s alright I miss hanging out after dark but i just don’t know what we’d have to talk about And i don’t wanna use you to cope like i did back when i was stumbling alone in the dark We could’ve said goodbye Before we stopped talking all of the time But honestly it’s alright Cause I’ve already got shit on my mind Can you please get the fuck out Of my head so i can start over And now my throat is too sore From singing these songs that I wish you could have heard
7.
my heart won’t let go of when we stepped out in the cold when you swallowed all my words and then you said this wouldn’t work You’re like a migraine that doesn’t leave And what’s written on your sleeve is the truth you had to leave cause you were always late for me I was happiest with you around But now you’re your gone And Im scared I was happiest in your arms But now you’re gone and im cold Leave me at the front door once the party’s over don’t even look me over, cause I’ll be like this until October There’s a leaf stuck in your hair it reminds of when I’m caught in despair And what you said over there well it couldn’t make me care I used to wish that I could be closer to you But now I wanna be as far away from you as possible I thought that you were the one I thought that you were the long run But I was too naive to understand you at all

about

written throughout 2020.
recorded at rhys' house march-may 2021.

credits

released June 4, 2021

guitar/bass/vox: rhys kaiser
drums: sid mach
mixed and mastered by rhys kaiser

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all rights reserved

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Cinnamon Cigarettes Batavia, Illinois

twinkle-screamo from batavia, il.
rhys (she/they) jett (he/him) jessica (she/they)

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